. With Love, From The Mother 'Hood: Getting To Know Me Redux, Part II

Monday, November 2, 2009

Getting To Know Me Redux, Part II

25 More Random Tidbits About My Whacky Life.....OK, if you want to get technical, there are way more than 25 things because of my hyper-drive thought process, but this is me, take it or leave it.

1. I unfortunately have intimate knowledge of what a terrible combination bunk beds and stomach viruses are.

2. Because of this combination, on more than one occasion my boys' bedroom looked like a scene from CSI. I am convinced after cleaning up said scenes (although not the worst I've ever cleaned - we had a poop smearer for awhile - that task would bring me to tears, sobbing the whole time I cleaned it up, day after day "this...isn't...my...life") I could be a CSI, or maybe a Saint - thankfully we don't live in that house or twilight zone-esque time of our lives anymore. I hated that house --which I realized on the first full day we lived there after meeting the Neighbor from Hell at the bus stop (she is a blog unto herself)-- but I giggled last night when Max said "Mom, remember the time Jack was sleepwalking and peed in the hallway at the old house?" It is funny now because I'm not living it, but the sleepwalking was scary, and we had to lock Jack in at night after the morning we woke to find cheese and jelly on the table (disgustingly funny combo) and the front door wide open --not remotely funny, especially since we lived in the midst of miles of forest and game lands adjacent to a state park. I can laugh about that house with ease now that I am not imprisoned by it and all the bad stuff that went down in it (autism paved a very rocky road for awhile). On a side note, while recently looking under the bottom bunk for some lost something or other, I noticed some splatter we must have missed - ewwwwwwww, two year old vomit splatter, get the clorox wipes!

3. Most days I dream of running away to a tropical island for some peace and quiet not because I don't love my kids, but because I know I would be a better mom after such a break (it has been about 5 years since we last had a kid-free getaway - much too long. Addt'l. note to self: Run away, far, far away). Thankfully, after nearly 11 years of marriage and 14 years together I still want to take Marc with me.

4. Sometimes locking myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine works in a pinch, but I can still hear them through the door .

5. For those of you who don't know me well enough, #4 is complete sarcasm not child neglect; I use it often and believe it helps keep me sane with 5 children - sarcasm that is, not neglecting them.

6. I am not a winter weather person (Marc says I am solar powered) and I avoid going outside in this type of weather if at all possible. The fact that I grew up in Upstate New York and ran around back in the day without nearly enough clothing on, oblivious to the frigid temps, helps me in no way to withstand the cold now. I do force myself to go to the gym despite the cold. Since my tropical getaway isn't happening, I have to go somewhere to search for my sanity.

7. I believe little boys are genetically programmed to rip holes in the knees of all their pants, pee on the back of the toilet (and sometimes on the floor - or apparently in the middle of the hallway on the carpet if they sleepwalk), pick their noses and wipe their hands and faces everywhere except the napkin, placed ever so thoughtfully by me, directly in front of them.

8. Sometimes I miss my pregnant belly, but I definitely don't miss all the discomforts that came with it. I LOVE Babies and shamelessly fawn over newborns (I'm careful not to fawn to the point of creepy "I want to steal your baby" - believe me I have enough of my own!), and if I could bottle that newborn smell I would wear it as perfume.

9. I really like love writing, but find it extremely difficult to share what I write with others (obviously I am overcoming that fear as I blog away, revealing all of my deep, dark secrets), and when reading aloud turn a deep shade of red. Any sort of public speaking terrifies me - not exactly sure what I expect to happen, but if I have to give an actual speech I'm like Cindy Brady in that episode when the camera light comes on and she goes deer-in-the-headlights on everyone. In the same episode Mama Brady says "You shouldn't put down a loser, Cindy, because you might be one yourself someday. Just remember that." Nice. Thankfully I don't plan on giving any speeches in the near future, except to my kids - "Mommy speeches" are a whole 'nother beast, and I'll bet if my kids could find the words they would tell you I am the Queen Mother of the "Mom speech" all too apparent from their typical response "I KNOOOWW Mom!" Which I often promptly respond to with "NO, you don't know because I just told you!" Trying to raise winners, here.

10. I hate when people watch me eat - one of my anxieties that likely heralds from some deep seeded memory better left forgotten from my childhood - no idea what it could be, though. I love food and have grown to accept the mushy abs. I used to have A LOT of anxiety for a really long time - say, since approximately birth- about way too many things- so many things it would probably be quicker to list what I didn't have anxiety about - and am so thankful for the little pill I take everyday. I am a much better version of me with my Zoloft - just ask Marc. Neither one of us wants the other me to come back - she wasn't very much fun.

11. I wish I could become organized - this I am afraid is something I am not genetically programmed to be, but I am working on it. Thinking we might have to call a professional in on this one, too.

12. I believe when I run into people by chance, repeatedly, or when there is so much coincidence surrounding our connection --like an old friend I just reconnected with from high school in NY via facebook (which I love) and a new friend I met, that both happen to live here in PA and are also friends with each other, as well as both having connections to other people I know, combined with the fact that I think they are amazing women-- means these people are supposed to be in my life - no brainer. There are exceptions - the people from Crazytown I seem to attract and run into repeatedly (must be my sweet, understanding demeanor)- not so sure this rule applies to them.

13. My husband won't play checkers with me anymore because I always win. He says I cheat - I don't.

14. I hate to lose. I have come to appreciate that the losses and bad stuff in life make the good stuff all that much better, though.

15. I can't stand white walls. I also can't stand what a mess my house is, but I can no longer use the excuse, "We just moved in" when it has been about a year and a half. I would call the professional organizer a friend recommended if I could find her number in the mess that is my desk.

16. I love good wine and I don't think it has to cost a fortune to be good, but I think box wine is disgusting and it gives me a killer headache. Upon sharing this with a wine aficionado friend, she said "Oh sweetie, don't ever admit that you drank box wine." Well, it was just that once (and that was all that was offered), and in the interest of writing the blog I will put it out there - really the least of what I'm letting out of the bag these days, wouldn't you say?

17. I also enjoy beer, but never in a can - also disgusting.

18. I don't like beer in a can and many other things because I have a very sensitive sense of taste and smell. I am also sensitive to certain noises - ok, I have sensory issues, but we all do (some of the kids have sensitivities that can be frustrating, but I get it). Thankfully Marc tolerates mine - or at least is very good at pretending to.

19. My husband can't smell anything. Makes me wonder how he is able to cook so well. He also "forgets" things. We joke about this all the time now - beats the alternative of fighting about it, although at some point his memory will get so bad that he will forget that too, and I will be able to yell at him all I want.

20. I loathe cooking most of the time (I do enjoy cooking with Marc. I don't enjoy cooking for children who complain about what I've made and who think a PB & J sandwich is sooooo much better than pasta with chicken and homemade creamy parm cheese sauce with just the right amount of garlic and peas thrown in, that is one of my specialties), and cleaning the bathrooms (there should be no question about this given the fact that I have boys and I married one), folding socks (do you have any idea how many socks a family of 7 has?!), telemarketers, and people who knock on my door looking to "share" their religion with me. Also, after what my kids brought home from trick-or-treating, I dislike the handing out of religious pamphlets at Halloween. If you don't want to participate in the devil's holiday then turn off the porch lights and don't answer the door.

21. Even though I hate to cook most of the time I am not a bad cook, but if it weren't for my kids and my husband's fabulous meals, I would live on sandwiches, granola bars and cheese sticks.

22. I have by choice given birth to 4 of my 5 kids without drugs or epidurals, even after 18 hours of labor with #5 (what the heck was his deal!?! - I thought he was never, ever coming out), but I still think people that run marathons are insane or on crack - no offense, but we all know that like Whitney, I think crack is whack!

23. In Redux Part I, I said I really miss my brother - I should add I really miss my sister, too, but now she lives much closer so it isn't as hard to see her and we love spending time with her and her Hubs. I love both siblings tremendously and we laugh A LOT when we are all together.

24. I believe in ghosts.

25. When I was little I wanted to be a nurse, then for a brief stint a neonatologist, and then going into college an art therapist - always the mother, I guess I found the right job. When my kids are bigger and I have to get a "real" job I know it will be doing something that helps others, but for right now I'm happy being "Mom" (sitting here enjoying the music of Journey as I write, but not so happy to be listening to the weird, new sound the toilet is making when flushed) and of course legend in my own mind that I am, happy to be, "Blogger Extraordinaire".

1 comment:

  1. I enjoy reading your writing. You are definitely meant to do it, and I think you probably come across so much better than you realize you do. It is good to share when you have a precious, wise, funnily sarcastic perspective, and you make me laugh and nod my head with a feeling that someone finds the humor and gets through the ups and downs of life like I try to choose to. It's a choice, and it's not easy, but it's the side I want to be on. Way better than getting old and grumpy and telling younger people, "Wait until you get as old as me - life's just a bitch, get used to it" I remember happily why you became my friend so long ago, and I am glad you are in my life again. I look forward to the next blog. I love your music choices for the blog too!

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